You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
