More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
