Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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