it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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