I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
