question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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