I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
