...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
