i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
