I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
