sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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