Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
