Where did you get a picture of my penis
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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