Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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