she looked like the before picture.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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