I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize