Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
