I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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