my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Acid is not a monday night drug
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
