And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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