Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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