I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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