Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she peed on how many people?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
