O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
