I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
