Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
