I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
