Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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