dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Alive.
So much puke
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
