I look better un-naked...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize