3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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