People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
