the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
