This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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