Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
