And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize