There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
