we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
