Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
