Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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