ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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