His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize