the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
