All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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