He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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