After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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