i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
