love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
