Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
