Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
