she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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