grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize