"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I have post one night stand depression
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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