You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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