All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
