Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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