he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
