Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
from now on my penis is your penis
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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