My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
