If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
