I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
