Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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