I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
