i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i've created a new STD.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
