Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
