I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
