No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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