singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
