I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
