This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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