spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
