I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
